Friday, August 11, 2017

(૭૪)..Great Albert Einstein Stories:

૧૧/૦૮/૨૦૧૭..(૭૪)..Great Albert Einstein Stories:




                                                    સંકલિત......                                ચિત્ર સૌજન્ય:ઈન્ટરનેટ  
(1)One day during a speaking tour, Albert Einstein's driver, who often sat at the back of the hall during his lectures, remarked that he could probably give the lecture himself, having heard it so many times. Sure enough, at the next stop on the tour, Einstein and the driver switched places, with Einstein sitting at the back in his driver's uniform. Having delivered a flawless lecture, the driver was asked a difficult question by a member of the audience. "Well, the answer to that question is quite simple," he casually replied. "I bet my driver, sitting up at the back there, could answer it!"
(2) Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"
(3)Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"
(4)When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognize him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton knows. Do you want to meet him?. Einstein replied "I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to his home and did not even collect his fare from him.
(5)Einstein was once travelling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.
The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.' Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.' Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.'
6) When Einstein met Charlie Chaplin:
Einstein said, "What I admire most about your art is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... the world understands you."
“It's true,” replied Charlie Chaplin, "But your fame is even greater: The world admires you, when nobody understands you.
સંકલિત.
Subject: Fw: Albert Einstein

A GENIUS - Albert Einstein - interesting
Some great info about Albert Einstein……
  honoured by Time magazine as the Man of the Century.
 One day during a speaking tour, Albert Einstein's driver, who often sat at the back of the hall during his lectures, remarked that he could probably give the lecture himself, having heard it so many times. Sure enough, at the next stop on the tour, Einstein and the driver switched places, with Einstein sitting at the back in his driver's uniform.
Having delivered a flawless lecture, the driver was asked a difficult question by a member of the audience. "Well, the answer to that question is quite simple," he casually replied. "I bet my driver, sitting up at the back there, could answer it..."


 Albert Einstein's wife often suggested that he dress more professionally when he headed off to work. "Why should I?" he would invariably argue. "Everyone knows me there." When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. "Why should I?" said Einstein. "No one knows me there!"  

 Albert Einstein was often asked to explain the general theory of relativity. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour," he once declared. "Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity!"


 When Albert Einstein was working in Princeton university, one day he was going back home he forgot his home address. The driver of the cab did not recognise him. Einstein asked the driver if he knows Einstein's home. The driver said "Who does not know Einstein's address? Everyone in Princeton knows.Do you want to meet him?”. Einstein replied "I am Einstein. I forgot my home address, can you take me there? "The driver reached him to his home and did not even collect his fare from him.

 Einstein was once travelling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.
The conductor said, 'Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it.'
Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, 'Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one.'
Einstein looked at him and said, 'Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going.''


A SCIENTIFIC PROTOCOL ON FAITH

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem Science has with God, The Almighty.  He asks one of his new students,

Prof:  Do you believe in God?

Student:  Absolutely, Sir.

Prof:  Is God all-powerful?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.  Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.  But God didn't.  How is this God good then?

(Student is silent.)

Prof:  You can't answer, can you?  Let's start again, young fella.  Is God good?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  Evil is everywhere, isn't it?  And God did make everything.  Correct?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof:  Is there sickness?  Immorality?  Hatred?  Ugliness?  All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student:  Yes, Sir.

Prof:  So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof:  Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.  Tell me, son, have you ever seen God?

Student:  No, Sir.

Prof:  Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student:  No, Sir.

Prof:  Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelled your God?  Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student:  No, Sir.  I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof:  Yet you still believe in Him?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist.  What do you say to that, son?

Student:  Nothing.  I only have my Faith.

Prof:  Yes.  Faith.  And that is the problem Science has.

Student:  Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Prof:  Yes.

Student:  And is there such a thing as Cold?

Prof:  Yes.

Student:  No Sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student:  Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.  But we don't have anything called Cold.  We can hit 273 degrees below zero, which is NO HEAT, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold.  Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat.  We cannot measure Cold.  Heat is energy.  Cold is not the opposite of Heat, Sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:  What about Darkness, Professor?  Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Prof: Yes.  What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student:  You're wrong again, Sir.  Darkness is the absence of something.  You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.  But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing, and it's called Darkness, isn't it?  In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make Darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Prof:  So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student:  Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof:  Flawed?  Can you explain how?

Student:  Sir, you are working on the premise of duality.  You argue there is LIFE and then there is DEATH, a good God and a bad God.  You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.  Sir, Science can't even explain a THOUGHT.  It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.  To view Death as the opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a substantive thing.  Death is not the opposite of Life, just the absence of it.

(The class is in uproar.)

Student:  Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student:  Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelled it?  No one appears to have done so.  So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, Science says that you have no brain, Sir.  With all due respect, Sir, how do we then trust your lectures?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof:  I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student:  That is it, Sir.  The link between man and God is FAITH.  That is all that keeps things moving and alive.


PS: That young student’s name was ALBERT EINSTEIN.




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